BREAK FREE FROM PERFECTIONISM

American columnist Ann Landers wrote, ‘Rose-coloured glasses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small print in dreams.’ The small print in every dream is reality. You may fulfill your dream, but you won’t do it perfectly. Looking back you’ll say, ‘If I knew then what I know now.’ But if you could live all over again you’d probably say the same thing. The truth is the journey will take longer than you hoped. The obstacles will be more numerous than you thought. The disappointments will be greater than you expected. The lows will be lower than you imagined. The price will be higher than you anticipated. Stop expecting more than what’s reasonable. Stop seeing minor mistakes as major catastrophes. To break free from perfectionism, Dr. Chris Thurman says: ‘Humble yourself: repent of being so filled with pride that you think you’re equal with God. Be reality focused: accept life as it is, not how you think it should be. Establish attainable goals: make them realistic and achievable in the here-and-now. Set reasonable time limits: instead of spending time struggling to do one thing perfectly, prioritize and dedicate a reasonable amount of time to each activity. In less-important areas, accept good-enough; not every job has to be (or can be) done exceptionally well. Lose the all-or-nothing thinking: not every situation is black and white – most contain shades of grey. Learn from your mistakes, then move on. Confess your shortcomings: acknowledging your weaknesses releases you from the pull of perfectionism. Find your worth in God: not in ‘your own human effort,’ in what you do and how well you do it.’
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BREAK FREE FROM PERFECTIONISM

One Christian writer says: ‘When my friend had her first child she applied all her career talents to making a smooth transition into motherhood. She kept a rigid schedule, napped her son on time, planned time for grocery shopping, and always managed to have a nice dinner prepared by the time her husband got home. She kept up this façade till she could handle the stress no longer. Finally, she cracked. She left the house a mess, forgot to shower, never went to the supermarket, and when her husband came home she handed him the dirty baby…and declared the house a dinner-free zone! What did her husband do? He fell to his knees in an exaggerated ‘Hallelujah!’ then spun his long-lost wife into a magnificent hug. ‘You’re back!’ he declared…Her gifts, apart from being a great wife, mum and businesswoman, are her sense of humour, her sass, her fun, and her authenticity…all the things her husband missed when her personality went on a postpartum hiatus.’ If you’re ‘trying to become perfect by your own human effort’ (Galatians 3:3 NLT), it’s not going to happen! ‘We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.’ When you strive to be somebody other than the person God intended, you end up feeling angry, inadequate and frustrated. God purposely gifted us all in different areas. Once you realise that, you can start to minister from your particular area of giftedness. Remember, every one of us is a work-in-progress, so cut yourself some slack. Instead of trying to become perfect, begin to thank God for making you one-of-a-kind

ADVICE TO LADIES, ESPECIALLY THOSE IN THEIR TWENTIES.

1. Guys love to marry an independent and mature lady… So instead of sitting there and waiting to be bluffed by a guy, focus on getting a career that would take you out of the house wife category…
2. Never let the sweet talks of guys deceive you, most times they just want to go between your legs and run off thereafter.
3. Remove the mentality from your mind that guys will keep springing up to approach you. The older you get by the day, the less toasters you will have.
4. Playing ‘too’ hard to get is the worst thing you should ever start, remember, Nothing lasts forever. If you still doubt, check out the number of matured single ladies looking up to GOD FOR A MIRACLE.
5. Never extort things from a guy you don’t love, guys always have ways of paying a lady back, either through their FRIENDS or total ‘PAID’ STRANGERS….BE­ CAREFUL.
6. Never be deceived you can trap a guy through sex. A man will also return to his wife who sex starves him for years once he loves and trust her. You can never win a man over with your body.
7. If all you take to the relationship is the mind set to EXTRACT MONEY from him, don’t complain if all he ask from you is your body. He has seen you have nothing else to offer…
8. Don’t be fooled when Guys tell you they have never met a prettier lady, they will say that same thing to an80year old woman they want to get intimate with.
9. A guy always taking you to the SILVER-BIRD, FAST FOOD, MALL AND EVENTS AT CONFERENCE CENTER /NATIONAL THEATER is nosing that he loves you, if he doesn’t care to ask and PLAN YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER then you are just his ‘SOCIAL MATE’ and nothing else….
10. If the only time he invites you over is when he needs to cook, clean the house and do his laundry, then just know you are his “executive house help”.
11. Never look down on any guy

STEP TO MATURITY:

Maturity is the ability to handle frustration, control anger, and settle differences without violence or destruction. MATURITY is patience, it is the willingness to postpone gratification, to pass up the immediate pleasure or profit in favour of the long-term gain. MATURITY is perseverance, sweating out a project or a situation in spite of opposition and discouraging setbacks. MATURITY is unselfishness, responding to the needs of others (teammates). MATURITY is the capacity to face unpleasantness and disappointment without becoming bitter. MATURITY is the gift of remaining calm in the face of chaos, this means peace, not only for ourselves, but for those with whom we live and for those whose lives touch ours. MATURITY is the ability to disagree without being disagreeable, MATURITY is humility A mature person is able to say “I was wrong’ He is also about to say, “I am sorry’ And when he is proven right, he does not have to say “I told you so” Maturity is the ability to make a decision, to act on that decision, and to accept full responsibility for the outcome, MATURITY means dependability, Integrity, keeping one’s word. The Immature have excuses for everything, They are the Chronically tardy, the no-shows, the gutless wonders who fold in the crises. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, unfinished business, and former friends. MATURITY is the ability to live in peace with that which we cannot Change.

I MATTER, BECAUSE GOD LOVES ME

The fear of being nothing but a big zero can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It works like this: When it’s time to go for a job interview your fear kicks in and you think, ‘I’ll never impress them, I’ll look stupid. They’ll ask me questions I can’t answer.’ A mouse in a lion’s den has better odds of success. So you fail miserably, and descend yet another level into the basement of self-defeat. Or consider the girl who’s asked out on a date by a good looking guy. So good looking, that she wonders what he sees in her. She’s sure that once he gets to know her, he will finish with her. So insecurity drives her to use the only tool she trusts, her body. She sleeps with him on the first date for fear there won’t be a second, and she ends up feeling like the disposable woman she didn’t want to become. The fear of insignificance creates the very result it dreads, and arrives at the very destination it tries to avoid. Stop! You’re disagreeing with God! You’re questioning His judgment and second-guessing His taste. His Word says He can’t stop thinking about you. If you could count His thoughts of you, ‘They would be more in number than the [grains of] sand’ (Psalms 139:18 NKJV). Why does God love you so much? For the same reason an artist loves his paintings. ‘We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.’ So when you get up each morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself, ‘I matter, because God loves me!

honeymoon

Someone just said this to me, and I was wondering what you think about it?

“HONEYMOON should be abolished, because almost every couples live and sleep together before getting married these days.”

Do you agree?

CONTROLLED EMOTION

“what matter to me most right now in my place of work is my laptop. if you spoil it, you are certainly gonna buy it period”. this was what was reading in my mind when i was printing a document from power point on my system and one of the worker was invited to make a change in the document. he was just pin-pointing my laptop as if it was nothing,he bent the screen. at first, i was having patience,but later on i had to let him know my feelings. i told him “please that screen is not to good with an unpleasant gesture on my face”, he smiled, looked at me and walk away.

instead of an outburst, i spoke calmly and he understood and left peacefully, i just saved myself of an ignorant enemy by just speaking calmly with patience.

PATIENCE

nothing makes me angry more than when somebody tries to embarrass me publicly. have been printing for the past one hour, my supervisor have passed, see what i was printing and didn’t say anything. then suddenly ibrahim came and saw what i was printing and complained about the color. miss chioma then came to the scene, not knowing that she already had grudge about the game i was playing and the film i was watching while printing. and i was doing this just to keep me busy because i was printing in bulk. she came and started shouting at me, referring to the game and film as the reason i didn’t know the change in color. i was infuriated, knowing fully well that she didn’t give me the job to do, so she has no right to scold me.well, i just took it with patience and in good faith so as to not disregard my integrity, if not i would have shouted back at her. at the end, it was found out that the fault was initially from the printer. i had patience, so i didn’t react.

A RIDE TO GOD OWN STATE (Abia state)

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The governor received the cleanest governor award from the” bottom” this year. You know what that means. He does nothing other than to attend ceremonies all over the nation with the states money. He moves around the state with a very large convoy because of insecurity out of his control. Commissioners quarters has no electricity, instead uses a popular generator known as “I pass my neighbor”. He is a curse to our state. These are the word protruding out of the mouth if my fellow colleagues who are 90% Abia citizens. I sat down agape, watching the conversation, wondering, could this man be so heartless and corrupt or are they just saying this because they are not part of the beneficiaries of his administration. Well, their point wouldn’t have been justified if I haven’t remembered my ride in God’s Own State on a Sunday evening.

Since, I got to port-Harcourt city; I have decided to attend Catholic Church with the family am residing with. It’s already 10:05am, and I have not even taken my bath, mummy is going to shout at us, I told bro Samuel. He told me, don’t worry she won’t, because we are not going with her to CKC today. We will be going to saint Francis for the 10 o’clock mass after which we will head straight tom Ifeoma School in Abia state for her visiting day. A feeling of excitement immediately crept through my mind because am this adventurous type, and have never been to Abia state before, But there was no outburst of excitement because I wasn’t sure if I will be going with them after the mass or not. So I decided to ask bro Samuel. Can I come with you, he said sure if you want to. Wow! Why not, am so delighted to go with you. We were late for mass, the church was already crowded but all the same we got a place to all sit down. Then after the mass, I and bro Samuel decided not to follow the car back home, we trekked home. By the time we got home, they were already at home. Despite us leaving before them, a car is definitely faster than us.

When we all got home, we prepared food and everything we will be travelling with, and then we all entered the car to go. We were four of us with the driver in a Toyota corolla car. Along the way before we left rivers state, I saw a few number of site, though not too fascinating but were ok for the first time. We got out of rivers state passing several roadblocks and finally on our way to Abia state. We drove along forest paths, few pot holes along the road with a speed limit of 160km/hr. we didn’t get to the main town when we branched into a village along the road. The name of the village is ETIGHA. Ifeoma School is located just at the entrance of the village. When we entered the school, after parking and coming down from the vehicle, we saw a few numbers of parents with their wards. Total numbers of parents/guardians present at the moment were not more than five in number. Some students sat a little distance from the gate with white and blue uniforms which I later confirmed were the ushers in charge of asking and locating the right ward to the parents/guardians. We called one of the students and asked if she knows who ifeoma is, she said yes that she is the deputy senior prefect (DSP) girl. Ok, call her for us. She immediately left and in less than three minutes, we saw ifeoma running towards us with all excitement and enthusiasm. She came jumping and hugging everyone of us one by one with a heartwarming smile on her face, showing the high level of excitement ignited by our presence. She jumped on me, hugged me with that smile even despite the fact that we barely know each other. We took snapshots, she called in her friends, introduced them, took pictures and they were opportune to listen to an inspirational talk from bro Samuel. Her cousins also came around. We gave them all we brought and left.

On our way back home, the driver decided to get something from somebody in the main town, so we branched into Aba, and this is where my mystery about the state of the most entrepreneurial conscious people in Nigeria began. I have always envied the Aba people for their manufacturing talent, copy right and creativity. I have also imagined how great their state will be. They reproduce foreign goods to a reasonable standard. They are born industrialist. Everyone in Aba is business inclined and are always on the move. But to my greatest surprise, I was disappointed by what I saw when we got into Aba in Abia state. Houses built in a clogged manner, though they were well planned but no spacing, no trees to reciprocate respiration, old roof houses, over population, worst of all, in that main city dirt’s were been dumped along the main road. We got to a place that I couldn’t breathe; I had to cover my nose with my cloth. At that same place close to he dumped site on the road, people lived there, sat there and even eat there. It was disgusting. I couldn’t help but compare such an urban area in Abia state to the most notorious area (ajegunle) in lagos state.

The bible says “cleanliness is next to Godliness”. I can imagine you wondering why Abia state should be God’s own state. Why should God own such a dirty state? Or is there something else that made God choose the state? Or is it just a mere slogan to enact the belief of its people? These questions are debatable.

Shade me, dear.

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